whoa

Time to slow down and blog again. The 4H season is winding down. I can breathe, sort of. I miss blogging. I have a few funny snippets to share.

1 My daughter Abby thinks that if everything were free AND you got change back, life would be really cool. Economists?

2 When involved with community-minded youth activities, it is never ok to cheat for your kid to get ahead (you know who you are).

3 Smiling and chatting with a crush can create awkward moments where there are none. (sorry xxxxxx, I had to share ;)

4 Dogs in heat and dog shows don't mix.


5 If you don't know what is on the other end of a wired remote, think the worst!

6 My favorite quote in recent weeks..."I'm afraid of marriage. It brings about obligatory sex that can lead to pregnancy. I don't want kids yet!"-source uncited on purpose.

Funny Relationship Comments

Life has been so much fun lately. I have friends in various stages of relationships. From long married, to newly free, newly in love, and single and lovin' it! I enjoy talking to these friends. It's so neat to hear their stories. Here are a few I think need sharing...

*Alison, you are not allowed to read this one, so stop here, sweetie ;)


One friend was describing how her recently divorced bff has had a boyfriend for sometime. Not many people know, apparently. Her comment was that she thinks it's time they "bring it out of the bedroom".

A very dear friend that is "newly free" from a horrible marriage is checking out the dating world. She has a guy that she dated, probably first, that won't leave her alone. For that situation girls, we have decided on a phrase. Keeping it "sports minded" so the men will understand...."thanks for the rebound, now bounce!" HAHA, cracks me up.


?????????.....went from being "single" to "in a relationship."
A teen acquaintance recently posted on facebook that she is "in a relationship". Well, we all know that brings about like 20 comments in an instant. Everything from "WHO?" to "is it me?" tee hee. Well, after about three days now, she still hasn't answered. I'm wondering if she's either messing with people, or she really doesn't like the guy but the idea of a boyfriend was appealing? Time to grow up sweetheart, people will think he lost a bet.

One of my newly in love friends, (you know who you are), has been warned. She received the warning from friends that "the ring" is forthcoming...DUN DUN DUN. She is scared to death. The very best part, (I love you, remember), is when she said "this isn't how I pictured my life going!" I hope that brought all readers, over the age of 30 or so, a very good laugh.

Too Funny

Recently, we were given the opportunity to meet a cousin's new boyfriend. It was a surprise meeting. We were at Sonic, which rocks, by the way. The boyfriend had come to pick up the cousin with her mom, and grandma. She was shocked to see him, she hadn't even primped. She's 18, so we know that can be devastating!
While feasting at Sonic, we put the "kids" at one table and the adults at the other. My daughters were with us, as was my mom, and the male cousin who was brother to the girl. They had spent the week with us.
Apparently, the new boyfriend was REALLY missing this sweet young lady. He was affectionately keeping her very close. After about 45 minutes or so, my girls had migrated to the adult table. I wondered why. My darling Ali told me that her beloved cousin and her boyfriend were "making out". I don't believe they ever even kissed. It was enough that they were arm in arm.
When we were driving home, Abby (my youngest), who is aware of my lack of ability to process dairy products, announced that she is from that point on, "lactose inboyfriend". LOL
I gently informed her it would be "boyfriend intolerant".

WHERE ARE YOUR CHILDREN AND CALL THEM BY NAME!

It's been a few days since I've written. That, of course, doesn't mean that nothing is going on. I've just been busy with summer projects.

My beloved screen porch is now clean! Last year's rummage items have finally found new homes, ok, so it was the trashcan. I can sit there sipping my Diet Coke and playing games on my laptop or reading and listening to my new MP3 player (my birthday gift to myself). Ah, so relaxing...until. Until those neighbor kids come outside.

Now, mind you, my parents live across the street on the opposite corner of our block. They have a fenced yard with plenty to keep the grandkids busy. They have a fire pit that we love to use for smores. The fence is a privacy type that is about four feet tall. Yes, that is significant, just be patient.

Next door to them, is a yellow house. That's were those kids live. On the side of the yellow house, opposite my parents, are some really great people. They have dogs, like us, and had a three foot tall picket fence. Their daughter graduated from high school this year and they did the "crazy graduation parent" thing and spruced up their already beautiful home. They replaced their fence in the process. It always amazed me that their dogs had no desire to jump that short fence. Unlike those kids. They now have a SIX foot tall privacy fence.

Behind my parent's home and these other houses is an alley. A bumpy and rutty alley, but well used, nonetheless. We take that route often to come home after dropping Grandma off.

The property behind the yellow house with those kids is owned by a sweet young couple with two small children. They have ample play equipment, as we did when the kids were little. They haven't been in the neighborhood long, but longer than those kids. About two months ago, when it was time for them to put up their quick set, huge pool, I noticed some holes. They now have a beautiful privacy fence. It's about six feet tall.

We have a fence, as do our next door neighbors. Our fenced areas are in the back of our properties. They aren't the privacy variety, but they do well keeping our dogs corralled.

So, if you have been paying attention, the yellow house has about five neighbors. All have fences. Three are privacy and two have been installed since those kids descended on our neighborhood. Aren't you curious as to why?

The oldest child is about nine and a boy. Next, is another boy that is about six, followed by a girl that is probably four or five. They can be cute. Not when they are standing on a chair by my parents fence observing our cookouts. Not really cute when they sneak into Mom and Dad's back yard and leave the gate open so the puppy gets out. Reaching through a picket fence to torment dogs isn't especially cute either. Playing in the alley neighbors sandbox when no one is home isn't exactly cute.

Now, here's the kicker. Obviously, it's really hard to blame the kids. It's also kind of hard to enjoy my screen porch. When the parents are watching those kids. They get called everything but their names. We have screeches of "You dumb@##, get out of the road!" and the like. Now, I know that God wants us to love others, and I do my very best. At this point, I have decided to love them because they have brought many new decorative fences to our neighborhood. Can you blame me?

Great Holiday, Great Friends and a Great Laugh!

Happy Independence Day! We got to take in a parade yesterday. Portland likes to have parades. We have one for the 4Th, then Homecoming, the Parade of Lights in December, and I know there is one I am forgetting. Anyway, my daughters were in the parade riding in grandpa's BRIGHT yellow 1965 Cutlass. They got to throw over 900 pieces of candy, running out in the first 1/3 of the route. My daughter called me during the parade from the car to inform me that next time I need to buy more. My husband was on a float for our church playing keyboard with the band. I think that would have made me nauseous. It was odd watching the parade with no children to chase candy. My son was with me, but he has never been a candy eater. He was quite thrilled to catch a new t-shirt. I told him that we didn't have to shop for school clothes now. He said that was fine. Obviously, it's not one of our favorite past times.

After a bit of downtime, we went to a friend's party. They throw fabulous parties. Kids everywhere, and they have a HUGE front porch where lawn chairs continued to pop up and laughter was in abundance. There was absolutely no fighting among the kids, I don't know about the adults, that would be their business...ha ha. There was a taco bar and I successfully baked and took a sweetcorn casserole, YAY ME! Cayden was beyond thrilled to light matches for fireworks and we managed to smoke out all the mosquitoes with hundreds of sparklers. It rained a bit but the fellowship made it seem sunny!

Reluctantly, I forced myself out of bed this morning. I had stayed up late listening to some idiot neighbor celebrating well past midnight. Eric and I decided after three growls, we would go to church without children. Although, Alison ended up coming by bike when we were reminded she was scheduled to work in the nursery.

After church, a friend of ours, with a child that struggles with various sensory issues, told me to find this child and look closely at his shirt. She said there was something subtle about it that she didn't want to point out to him. I assumed this was a "choose your battles" type thing. I sought out the child expecting him to have his shirt on inside out or backwards. I completely missed the subtlety I was looking for. His shirt was from a recent cruise they had taken and had a bull on it. It said something "Toro" on it, I can't remember. I am just that observant. I walked to her husband and explained that I couldn't find this thing I was looking for. He pointed out that the bull was "blessed". I thought....OK, maybe that is what the word before Toro means. No, what he meant to say was the bull was "anatomically correct". The bulls "bulls" were hanging down. Hilarious. Their son is only five so they hadn't pointed this out to him. Someone had to point it out to me, so I think they are safe. Now, the story gets a bit funnier. We pulled in the driveway at home, Alison was already back. When Eric stepped out of the van, Alison said "hey dad, your shirt is on inside out!" Now, that was funny. Here was my mid-thirties husband with the shirt I expected to find on the 5 year old!

Counting It Down

It's been a few days since I have blogged. It is such great therapy, I miss it terribly. I haven't been home much. Today is Wednesday. I have driven over 1000 miles in the last week. I didn't even go anywhere out of town today, and Saturday we were at an amusement park. Basically, those miles were logged on Thursday, Friday, Sunday and Monday. Crazy.




As I sit here looking at the clock, I am realizing how fast life goes by. In about forty-two minutes it will be my birthday. I will be Thirty-Seven. I just realized when I typed that, I told a friend earlier today that I was turning thirty-eight! YIKES! Why rush it? Am I really at that age where I don't know how old I am without doing the math? Since it's late, I will throw out that I was born on 7/2/72, cool I know. You do the math.


When marking anniversaries, birthdays and the like, don't we reflect? It just seems natural. I was sitting here on Facebook when a friend asked "what's up rhwojc?" I remembered I hadn't blogged. So I began thinking about what to say. I figure this opens up the discussion of background for me.


In the last 37 years I have done so much. Major things would be that I have lived in more than 25 homes in five states, watched my siblings grow up and get married (all but that November Bridesmaid opportunity). I have gone to two high schools which resulted in friends around the globe. I went to three different colleges, because I can't stay in one place, obviously. My life has been blessed with three nieces and two nephews, one of whom I WILL meet in heaven. My soulmate was more or less handed to me, (thank you GOD for making that simple). My children have come into my life and turned my world upside-down several times. I have countless role models and friends. Most recently, I found my calling in substitute teaching. I have lost all but one of my grandparents, and great grandparents, (I had a total of seven when I started this journey). I have so many things to be thankful for.


In the next year, I will witness my little sister get married. I will see my mom get a new knee, right mom? I will see my dad hit that magic age we call retirement, but being a baby boomer, I am sure he will continue to work. Besides, he likes his job. My oldest two children will both be in middle school! My little nephew will start Kindergarten, Abby will be there to protect and torture him from third grade. I will continue to search for my natural hair color because it can't possibly be gray. I will visit friends at colleges. I have wanted to do this for years now. They really can't stay there forever, although, some do try ;)


I am not making resolutions, mind you, that would be stupid. I am just thinking of what is to come. I get so excited to see my kids reach milestones. I believe that makes my own seem less dramatic. Maybe that's why I can't remember how old I am, it doesn't matter, it's just a number.



That's right! It doesn't matter! I will be twenty seventeen, in about 15 minutes. Thank you to a friend that shares my birthday for that one. It softens the blow.